About Grief

 

[This article was posted in another social media platform.  However, I feel it is good to be part of 'The Blessed Life'.  The memory of him gives me the courage and strength to live.]

 

About Grief

It is in memory of a beautiful soul, a wonderful and amazing friend whom had strong soul connection with me.  During his lifetime, he taught me so much about life, about how to live to be a good meaningful person, about love, about giving and sharing.

Grief is a process.  I hope, as I am allowing myself to be much exposed here, that it will grant me to heal and reconnect myself with Life.  It is, at the same time, for me to maintain an ongoing connection with my personal experience recently.  It is my process to acknowledge that I am grieving.  This space will probably be my healing ground.

I learn that while the phrase "Letting Go" is so often easy to say, the process in itself is not.  I learn, till anyone truly experienced the impact - the brunt, the shock - of a loss and when the loss is still very much at the height of everything beautiful, that he/she will be able to fully empathize on the process of grief. 

A loss is a loss but there is variable difference towards grief.  The reactions to a loss are unique and psychological.

In my life, I have lost a father, a mother, a sister, a nephew and a beloved pet.  I love all these people (including my beloved pet) but, somehow, the grief I experienced from each loss does not level up to a loss of an important partner.  There is huge difference.  There is unexplained uncertainty.  There is unfamiliar fear.

I learn that the only cure for grief is to let myself do my grieving.  While time will heal, it is not that simple in truth.  Time itself does not have any magical healing properties though it allows reality to take place.

It is only when one is in the real experience that understanding evolves. Grief does not recognize deadline.  There is no predictable trajectory in grief.  The ebbs and flows are a landscape with peaks and valleys.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days, it can be riding a roller coaster.  The roads are never a straight line.

What makes it not easy is the mourning and grieving of the surviving individual.

While I feel lucky that I am able to express and share my grief with family members and with good close friends, I realize it will not be easy for many others who are not as privileged.  Grief can be a bitch when there is no one out there to understand the real situation.  Grieving can be a lonely experience, though in solitude it brings one to surrender and accept.