Circle In The Sand

Life.  

What do I think of it?  What do I want out of it?  How do I want to live it?  What motivates me to live?  What truly drives me to succeed?

Without knowing what life is and how I want it to be, life gets stagnant.  Worse, everything I do will be circle in the sand that goes round and round.  I am not allowing the light inside me to become brighter.  It is a disservice should I not let Life to grow to its full potential.

My light has to guide me.  My intuition should be the legs to walk me.  My gratitude will be the golden key that opens all opportunities.  I have to take awareness seriously.  It is to realize on the consciousness towards my existence leading to a man’s search for meaning.

Every day, I am faced with the never ending battle between what I feel and what I know.  There is a persistent stubborn voice of reason trying to fix what is not meant to be.  There is constant struggle against a heart that won’t let go.

When I keep thinking I already know and I feel that I am continually right, I will learn nothing in life.  It is this mindset that dooms me to failure.  This is where, unconsciously, I am letting life to go round and round in circle.

At the end of the day, I will try to sleep and shut it off.  I want a good quality sleep because physically, mentally and emotionally I am tired.  Little that I realize that sleep, even when it feels good, does not help me.  It is my soul that is tired.  

When I put my soul first as priority, everything changes.

Often, I am reminded that life is beautifully simple.  It is the way I think – how my mind functions - that makes Life hard.  It is the way I destructively expose myself with the outside world that stops peace from coming into me.

I have been asked, ‘have you noticed how peaceful your life has been since you stopped dealing with certain individuals’?

Such a question should reveal the state of my being.  It is to remind me the weight that puts me down and what stops me from living.  Through all the years, I have been told that I changed a lot.  Truth is, life experiences have shaped me.  Today, I shall say that a lot changed me.

Life becomes more meaningful when I can realize the simple fact that I will never get the same moment twice.  I have to treasure what I have.  I need to enjoy what is in my hands.  Once they slipped through my fingers, I will lose them forever.  When I recognize their importance that everything changes.

I should not allow my mind gets in the way of seeing things as they truly are.  It is important that I see the good in everything in order for me to be happy with life.  Should I am constantly doubting, I will never be happy with the little things.

It is the little thing that matters the most.  It is from the little thing that life grows.  It is the little thing that slowly unfolds itself.  It is the little thing that is actually creating the big world.  In the bigger picture, these little things are not little at all.

Life needs me to be patient.  It is a journey, not a competition.  I need to know - sometimes I have to go through the worst to get to the best.  It is in knowing that I become free.  I need to have faith that everything comes to me in the right moment.

I have to know that I cannot fix what is not meant to be.  I have to learn about my limitation to let go.  Not everything is related to me and I am too tiny for the bigger equation.  What is meant for me can never pass me by.  I have to trust the process.

In that process, I need to accompany it with joy.  I should not let myself to feel bad about my mistakes.  Everyone has a chapter and everyone has a story.  Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s trouble.  When I focus on today, I grow.  When I live in my past, I am back to the sand in the circle.

Yes, I have to learn to be a good person.  But, I do not have to waste time to prove it.  A good person learns not to interfere with anything outside of him but to let divinity do its work.  When I practice my religious views on myself, it is called faith.  But, when I practice my religious views on others, it is called oppression.

In life, each stage brings its own set of experiences and lessons to learn.  In life, I should not be judging others.  Each soul has its own divine intelligence.  Each soul has its godly purity and innocence.  Each soul has his/her free will.

Some things just need to be left alone.  It will do me good should I attract only what I want by being what I want.  I have to love people in my life even with those who dislike me.  Holding on to indifference only hurts me, not them.  It will be the most hated person who will be my best teacher.

Whatever light I have, my shadow reflects it too.  Here is the hard truth – I cannot change things by loving them harder.  When I am rejected, accept.  When I am unloved, let go.   I should not stress myself too much because no matter how bad the situation is, it will change.

Yes, I need to create the time to appreciate the things in my life.  Nothing will work unless I do.  To appreciate is an inside job.  It gives power when I appreciate where I am now in my journey and how far I have come. 

Gratitude only attracts more blessings.  I am not rich by what I possess but by what I can do without.  I must not get myself stuck with old thoughts, with stagnation.  When I keep pushing myself, someday everything will make perfect sense.

I have to live in my presence.  I need to learn to be present and enjoy all moments.  I have to give myself enough respect to walk away from anything that does not serve my higher purpose.  I am a writer of my own story.  I should not worry about other people’s opinions of me.  I am born not to impress them and that is not why I am here.

So for now, I need to laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.  I should not skip the struggle for that is where character is built.  The act of over thinking steals peace away.  It destroys joy and happiness. 

I need to clean and erase the past.  True happiness is to enjoy the present.  True peace is to live life without anxiety.  What I feed my mind today becomes my future.  I need to train my mind to be calm in every situation.  Do not trouble troubles unless troubles trouble me.

Not to be the sand that keeps circling back, I have to live my life wisely and fruitfully.  I should not waste time thinking about what I could have done differently.  Instead, I should keep my eyes on the road ahead and just do it differently now. 

I need to learn to select my thoughts just the same way I select my clothes every day.  When I want to take charge in my life, I have to work on the mind.  Just as I care for my body, nurturing my mind is essential for overall well being.

I am the only person responsible for my life, my happiness and my peace.  No one else can make me feel fulfilled.  I am always responsible for how I choose to act.  Facing my fears is necessary for my growth.  The more I avoid my fears, the more I am stuck with the circle in the sand.

The greatest act of self love is to no longer allowing myself lying on the sand.  I have to wash it away.  I am not my past.  I am the sum of my choices and actions in the present moment.  No matter what knocks me down in life, I have to get back up and keep going.

After all, the most important task to keep me away from circling back is to keep cleaning and erasing.  Great blessings are a result of great perseverance.  I will not be a light by imagining figures of light but by entering the darkness where it begins.

When I am free from the circle, I shall become the person I should have been a long time ago.  I should have been the free soul who is living in abundance every single day.  I am not the person who fakes with ‘I am okay’ but I am truly okay.  I am the confident person who eats alone in crowded hawker center, food court or in a restaurant.

Life is not only about fixing anything that is broken.  It is about remembering the wholeness that has always been inside of me.  I have to know what kind of life I really want and then learn to say no to everything that is not.  I have to be done circling back round and round in life.