I Should Not Be Too Hung Up

Why mistakes keep repeating?  Don't have I learned from any of them? What is causing this constant recurring of events?  Is it a cycle of "history repeats itself"?   What exactly have gone wrong?

For a start, I have to accept that it is the work of my ego.  I have allowed it to be assertive in every expressions out from all my opinions.  This is a sure possibility, without doubt.  There is a big difference between being mentally strong and simply having a big ego.

A big ego is about arrogance.  It is never about confidence.

Secondly, it has to do with the degree on self realization.  Obviously, with less or no realization, I am vulnerable to get hung up on/with labels.  I open and let my intellect with opportunity to authorize that my thinking is (and must be) always right.  

My intellect, which has no sense of right and wrong, undertakes that it knows everything.  Does that mean that all things I know make sense?  Is intellect a self-centered mindset?

What is intellect?  Does it form the Circle of Influence to give me power over things?  Can I accept, at the same time, that my intellect can do me wrong too?

Thirdly, how deep do I internalize this hung up energy at my cellular consciousness?  How much do I know about myself?  How deep is the information stored at my cellular memory?  Do I know my inner child?  

Have I effectively dealt all my past traumas, from my childhood till now, and freed myself?  Not all joy lead to a state of happiness.  Not all happiness make a person peaceful.

Dear Myself, you may try to make things to make sense even when they are, probably, never going to.  Until I can know how to live on my own term and until I can erase all bytes of my past memories, that a new beginning can take place.

I should start with my inner connection.  I have to let divine love to flow in me and into every cells in my body.

I should set for right conditions, relationships and ideas.  I have to achieve complete acceptance, enthusiasm, faith and humbleness of mind.  

I have to believe that there is the Peace of 'I' inside me.  

I am sorry.  Please forgive me.
Yes!, I must learn to forgive.